ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
