She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
