I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize