I feel like I'm in dance class right now
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
