i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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