Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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