so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
