You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
