I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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