he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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