im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
