how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
