If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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