my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
