highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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