dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
