arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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