Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
