I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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