Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
