My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
