I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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