4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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