Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
