you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
