The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
