I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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