I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
