I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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