Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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