i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize