She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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