Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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