If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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