Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
A bitchslap is in order.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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