Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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