i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
