The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
