Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
