you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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