And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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