Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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