If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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