i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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