In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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