You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
