Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
