I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there is puke in my bra ... again
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