your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
