He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
