Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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