Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
