it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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