real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
