The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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