And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
