We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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