i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
