Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
