do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
