Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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