I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
