I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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