After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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